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Being Single – The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

I’m at the office. Severely dehydrated and borderline on the verge of a mental breakdown. But hey, that makes for the best content, innit. Writing while you’re a little crazy is the best form of release…therefore my obsession with journaling (2x a day). 

A few weeks ago – I had put a post out requesting topics to discuss and had gotten asked on what singlehood feels like. I know a lot of you are probably in long term relationships, naturally missing being on your own or maybe you’re transitioning out of a relationship. Whatever your life may look like – this post might give you some insight on what its like to be single. Before I start – what I write is based on my own experiences obviously – this does not apply for everyone.

Being on your own is funny. Everyone keeps telling me not to get comfortable because it’s dangerous how good you feel when you’re alone and I get it. It’s peaceful. No one to stress you out, you don’t get upset because your needs aren’t met and zero expectations = zero disappointment. BUT…you do get lonely, you do get bored and of course, you’re human – so companionship is a human need. 

So what does all of the above look like in your daily life?

Being that we are women, we’re not always mentally stable (or is that just me?). Every single day feels/looks different. More good than bad, alhamdulillah. 

I find myself randomly sitting around (this only happens at home) and suddenly HALT when this thought HITS me. “Wow. This feels sooooo damn good.” Having my own space, my own rules, my own money, my own TIME. It’s the most euphoric feeling. It’s hard to explain if you haven’t experienced it. It might just be a sense of gratitude. I’m not sure.

But other days – I’ll miss the simple things like not paying for my own dinner (lol), watching murder mysteries with someone besides Raaya (jk), and having a constant person to share your everyday updates with. Plus, a man to take out the garbage and kill bugs is always nice.

I’m at the point in my life where I can’t figure out whether I’m willing to sacrifice the euphoric feeling for someone who kills bugs. But then again, I have never met someone good enough or worthwhile to change my mind. I spend my week working, being a mom and balancing deen/dunya. My weekends consist of more working while recovering from the previous 5 days. Fitting a man in wouldn’t be too difficult if that is where I decided to prioritize my time but I’m not ready for the inconvenience. And this mentality, why they say being alone is dangerous.

Islamically – we are meant to be married. Nor does human nature promote us to be alone. So what is a single girl to do? The goal should be to find contentment in your current situation. Whatever that may be. 

I always wanted to be that bad betch who sought happiness in herself and did this whole self discovery thing where she refound purpose and all that eat pray love ish. I’ve done all that and now I’m bored. Boredom is overrated. It’s peaceful and peace of mind is my biggest asset. And that is the perfect example of how my ADHD brain works. I can’t make up my mind.

But to be completely transparent. I have the most solid trust in Allah. If there is a man out there meant for you – he will come to you. I, personally, am not willing to leave my house to find him. But if Allah wills it, there is nothing that can stop what’s destined to happen.

That is where I stand. To be honest – that is probably where most single girls stand. Being single isn’t invaluable. Being in a relationship isn’t either. The aim is to find success and contentment in yourself so you can be healthy enough to potentially offer that to someone else, one day. Till then – enjoy your “you” time. Why? Because you will never be this young, hot and energetic again LOL. BYE!